Hello and welcome to my first blog post on Learning Curve. The reason why I started this blog is an argument I just had with my housemates about the TV remote. I guess everyone has been there before, right? But as we were arguing I could not help thinking about how complicated it must be for a manager to deal with conflict situations with ten, fifty, or maybe even hundreds of people when us three housemates don’t even manage do come to an agreement. So how do managers do it?
Firstly I think it is important to talk about what is understood by a conflict. For that I will use Huczynski & Buchanan’s (2010) definition where conflict is described as a process that begins when one party perceives that another party has negatively affected something the first party cares about. This is a fairly straight forward definition I can fully agree with. A conflict arises when I want to finish my movie but my housemate does not want to miss his Sunday football.
In fact as we were arguing I realised that my female housemate has a very traditional view on conflict management. She kept insisting on stopping the argument, saying that it was bad for our relationship and you could see the negative effect it had on her emotional stress level. And I guess in some respect she was not too wrong, as conflict can be upsetting and disruptive.
However in my opinion it is not the argument that was bad but rather the way we were arguing and accepting (or in our case not listening to) each others needs. Quite on the contrary to my female housemate did I welcome the conflict as a constructive force. Because only due to our exchange did we fully understand each other and were able to reach a conclusion that will help us in future to determine who has control over the TV remote.
The more I think about it the more I have to agree that conflict is a constructive agent for change and quite motivating. Every situation I can remember I had a conflict in a working or even university environment my performance improved tremendously and I felt motivated and energised as long as all parties ensured that it remained a functional conflict.
While I take this new knowledge back to my housemates I am curious to hear your opinions and experiences with conflict situations. Has a conflict ever motivated you to outperform yourself? I would also like to see if you agree with me on my opinions about the constructive nature of conflict?
Take care and keep your conflicts functional ;) Laura
Hello Laura,
ReplyDeleteNow lets assume that the manager is dealing with conflicts with 10 people from 10 different countries. This would be quiet a challange. My point is that also different cultures have completely different ways of dealing with conflicts. While collectivist countries are more likely to avoid, oblige or compromise in a conflict situation, individualistic societies are rater integrating or dominating.
Just think about it while arguing about the TV remote;)
Hello and thanks for reading my blog.
DeleteThat is a very interesting point you raised and definitely important to consider in the increasingly gobalised business world.
How do you deal with people that are just too stuborn to accept or even listen to other's people opinion or viewpoint?
ReplyDeleteI know the situation you are talking about and to be honest it is not an easy situation trying to communicate with someone that is too stubborn to even listen. Spontaneously I have two possible ways you could try next time when you reach a dead end in a conflict.
DeleteThe first is trying instead of just talking at someone to write your point of view down in a letter or email and give the other party the time and space to read it in their own time and give them a chance to process and think about it.
The second possibility is trying to find a mediator that helps the communication between two parties in case one of them feels threatened or overpowered by the other.
Having someone that does not want to listen to you may be partially due to differing conflict styles between you and the other person. Check out my other blog post where I talk about conflict styles and see if you problem may be lying there.
I hope this reply was useful (even though it got quite lengthy) Thanks again for your comment, Laura
Hello Laura,
ReplyDeleteI agree with you and also think that avoiding conflicts might appear to be a short-term good approach but in the long-term it can be destructive for the relationship between the parties. In my opinion there is also a reputational factor which implies that if a person cannot resolve a conflict with another or even with the help of a mediator between them, it becomes less recommendable to make a contract with them of any sort. When it comes to being the referee it is difficult but I think he/she should consider a deal by which both parts can benefit but take in account the communitary profit too. People tend to think that you can either act upon an individualistic nature or a communal one, when really the two are not mutually exclusive but can combine. Do you think that is possible?
Hello Rociwi and thank you for joining the discussion.
DeleteI think you raised a very good point about the reputation, which is particularly important in today's business world. Especially when you consider the power and reach social media has nowadays. Meaning that a bad reputation can travel so much faster than ten years ago.
I guess the motivation behind a conflict depends on the situation and the position you hold in a company but they are definitely not mutually exclusive in my opinion. One example for this that comes to my mind is a manager that fosters a healthy and productive conflict among his team to increase motivation and performance. So on the one hand it is communal goal as he wants to motivate his team and inspire creative solutions but it also bears an individual advantage of him confirming that he is a good manager by increasing the work outcome fulfilling his role. Do you agree with me?
Take care, Laura
hey Laura,
ReplyDeleteas much as I'd want to, my knowledge of the business world is sketchy at best. Hence, perhaps a different perspective from an international politics standpoint is much more my forte. It is however, in a way transferrable to this situation. I do believe conflict can be a constructive force, however, in order to become one, I am of the conviction the way in which the conflict is resolved or settled is of prime importance. Generally we distinguish between conflict resolution and settlement. A resolution eliminates the root cause of the conflict, be it economic, political, territorial in nature. A settlement merely creates an agreement and situation in which conflict generating behaviour is stopped. It is generally used in ideological conflicts, as their universalist claims tend to not mesh too well together.
So, to turn this rambling into some sort of beneficial statement, I believe conflict CAN be a constructive force, provided it is resolved. A settlement, according to statistics, usually provides a break between conflict situations. It's hence not constructive, but rather destructive, at least most of the time. An example would be Northern Ireland.
You think a distinction like that, coming from international politics, applies to business-conflicts as well?
Hello and thank you for your great comment.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that your example above can me transferred into a multitude of conflict situations. I also agree with your statement about conflict resolution and settlement however it is always easier said to resolve a conflict rather than settle for a compromise than it is done in real life.
A lot of it actually has to do with how you approach a conflict so maybe have a look at my other post about conflict behaviors where I discuss this issue further.
I hope to see you soon again on Learning Curve. Laura
you really make some interesting points here...good job! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, I am glad you enjoyed it.
DeleteI fully agree with you, Laura. A conflict is not just an argument that most of the time is annoying. It is always a sign that something hast to change in a better way... and better always means a positive trend/development.
ReplyDeleteI also agree. Thats the point where you can fix a concept because you see that something do not work well. Its always criticism to develop yourself or something in a better way like Rowena mentioned.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you :)
ReplyDeleteNever thought of it that way before........
ReplyDeleteI agree with you. In fact, it can be quite healthy to argue sometimes. It's impossible to agree all the time and an argument is not the end of the world. If anything I think arguments could potentially even make a relationship better as, in a way, you'll get to know each other better by hearing each others different views. And, as you said, conflicts can sometimes open your eyes a bit and make you see things in a different light..
ReplyDeleteI agree with you, because I think it´s all about the way your leading the argument. If the matter your arguing about affects you quite closely it´s important to measure in how far your emotions are getting out of control or making in influence on that topic. If you are aware of that fact, I assume it is actually very easy to make every argument very effective in the way you are able to influence it. Basically you should not enforce your flatmates to have arguments with you, but when they happen, be aware of that.
ReplyDeleteYou are right. We can learn from our conflicts ... if we want to.
ReplyDeleteThank you for all your positive feedback!
ReplyDeleteKeep the comments coming ;) Laura
Hiya Laura!
ReplyDeletePersonally, I tend to avoid conflict if I can, as I'm not particularly a lover of it.
However, I know that conflict is something that is always going to arise in both the work environment and everyday lives. I believe that conflict is a constructive force when handled appropriately.
Daisy xx